


through my lens

by fireintherain



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:53:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28420485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireintherain/pseuds/fireintherain
Summary: Junmyeon is the charismatic superstar and Chanyeol's idol. But up close, Junmyeon is different. Chanyeol is about to find out why.
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 7
Kudos: 34
Collections: Starry Suho Fest (R1)





	through my lens

“This one should do!” murmurs Chanyeol while holding the camera and reading the technical specifications on the box carefully. He looks at the price tag and breathes a sigh of relief because he would be left with around $50 in his bank account, if he buys the camera. It is a Fujifilm - XT30, one of his favorite cameras and one he needs to have, if he wants a career as a professional modeling photographer.

He reads the specifications once again, memorizing all of them in his head. He opens the bank’s mobile app on his phone and checks for one last time, to see if he has the money and the store’s app to check if there are any coupons. When he realizes there are none, he grabs the camera and proceeds to go to the check-out section. There it is! The Fashion forward magazine. It’s Kim Junmyeon on this month’s Fashion Forward cover. THE KIM JUNMYEON. His idol, his dream actor/model to work with. He grabs the magazine quickly to see Junmyeon’s pictures and to read his interview but the cashier signals him to come ahead for the billing. Without a second thought, he buys the magazine, which costs $20 leaving him with a mere $30 in his account. “That’s okay”, he thinks, “it’s Kim Junmyeon!”

He walks back home as fast as he could because he is more excited to read the interview than to open his new camera, which he bought with his savings.

Park Chanyeol is a college graduate who majored in Multimedia and is now working in an unpaid internship with a local magazine, where he assists the head photographer with photos of local officials during interviews, covering press conferences etc. His parents did not want him to become a photographer. They are from a very humble background and putting Chanyeol through college was a huge deal for them. They wanted him to be an engineer or a lawyer or a doctor, or any other profession that pays well. But Chanyeol admired wildlife photography at a very young age and constantly used to ask his parents how the camera person took the footage of the tiger chasing its prey and how they managed to take shots at night in the forest. That curiosity turned into a passion and one day he hopes and prays, a great career. When he got an admission from Seoul University for a degree in Multimedia, he left his hometown for the first time to stay and study in a big city.

Here he is, in his small and cramped apartment in the city with his new camera which his seniors and mentors at the company suggested he buy and he has been saving his money from his other part-time job at the coffee shop to buy this one. But tonight is not going to be the day he opens and plays around with the camera because he has Kim Junmyeon’s cover photo and interview in front of him. He quickly fixes himself a ramen bowl and proceeds to sit on the bed.

He lovingly touches the magazine cover and admires Junmyeon’s skin, muscles, hair and how photogenic and just how angelic he is. He opens the magazine and quickly turns around the pages until he reaches the page of the interview.

Interviewer: So Mr. Junmyeon, very little is known about your background and life before movies. Could you tell us a little about your childhood and your foray into acting and modeling?

JM: I’d love to but I actually don't think I’m big enough to share my biography. But yeah, I had to go through a lot of auditions, screen tests, voice tests and all that in the beginning of my career. I won’t say it is entirely because of hard work because in this industry, luck plays a part too! (Grinning)

The interview goes on with questions related to his past and upcoming projects, the actors and directors he wants to work with in the future. Chanyeol is absolutely fascinated by the way Junmyeon answers the questions, how he carries himself in front of the media and how fashion-conscious Junmyeon is.   
“Wow, he is just four years older than me and he accomplished so much already!” he thinks.

Kim Junmyeon debuted as one of the supporting actors in TV dramas at the age of 18 but he quickly captured people’s hearts and rose to a lead actor in dramas within two years and then forayed into movies as a lead actor. His first three films released in a span of a year and did extremely well at the box office, which catapulted him into super stardom. That paved the way for a lot of commercials, paid promotions, movies with big production houses, an ultra-modern home in an affluent neighborhood, massive social media following and most importantly millions of ardent fans and supporters.

Despite all the popularity, you never see him talking about his childhood or early teenage years in any interview and not even his manager knows much about Junmyeon’s personal life. He maintains strict boundaries like that. Not a single nosy reporter or any over-enthusiastic fan have ever been able to dig into his personal life. Ten years in the movie industry, not a single scandal - that is Junmyeon for everyone.

But the superstar Junmyeon is a different person. He smiles at people, he is respectful, he is kind and patient, he is charming and he knows how to flirt. Above all, he is confident. He knows what he is doing. The Junmyeon behind all that superstar façade is…what is he? Junmyeon doesn’t even know the answer himself. Apart from being an actor, he really did not think about any other career or didn’t know what he truly is or truly want to be. Gardening is the only thing he does after work and that gives him solace. It comforts him, grounds him. Makes him forget all the things he endured at his parents’ home. And since he is a vegetarian, having his own garden helps his cooks get fresh veggies and fruits easily.

After a particularly long day of shooting, he loves sitting in his garden, with the beautiful hydrangeas, tulips and pansies. Junmyeon is mostly interested in growing flowers but he has a few herbs like thyme, rosemary & parsley and fruits like peaches, grapes and oranges. Junmyeon’s grandmother taught him everything about gardening. He used to visit her every summer when he was a child…or every summer when she was alive. She used to take his tiny hands and fill them with mud, made him pot a few plants, sow a few seeds, and water them regularly. “Junmyeonnie, remember to always water them. But not too much. If you water more than enough every day, the plants grow lazy and won’t try to get under the ground or grow more roots to find the water. If you water them every other day, they will try to find the water underground themselves and will grow roots. It’s just like life, when you are faced with hardships, you come out stronger than you were before”, she used to say.

That was perhaps the first life lesson Junmyeon learned from anyone. His parents never had the time for him. Junmyeon was an only child to attorney parents and his mom always wanted to see him as an attorney, who can take over their law firm. But Junmyeon never was interested in law and is more into arts and in college, he joined theatre. That was when the relationship with his parents deteriorated. They said he didn’t care about the family and the firm’s future. They said they were ashamed to have a son like him, who didn't care what his parents wanted. But did THEY care about what he wanted? Even once in his life…Junmyeon didn’t have the strength or courage to ask these questions, after everything that happened to him from his childhood. The one time Junmyeon did what he wanted and not what others expected him to do, his parents alienated him and called him ungrateful.

*****  
“You’re late again, giant”, shouts Baekhyun, setting up his cameras and loading them into their company’s truck. Byun Baekhyun is also an intern like Chanyeol but he chose photography for fun, and if he likes it, maybe a career. He comes from a wealthy family of hotel owners and photography is more like his hobby. He wanted to take a break after college before taking over his parents’ business and so is interning in a private multimedia company which covers the local events. Today they are going to cover the opening of a mall by a TV celebrity and Chanyeol is ten minutes late already. 

“GET IN NOW, QUICK!” Baekhyun screams as the truck engine revs. Chanyeol makes one big jump onto the passenger seat and buckles the seat belt. Baekhyun is driving today. Chanyeol opens his backpack and takes out the new camera he got yesterday. 

“Oh my god! You finally got it!” exclaims Baekhyun, his eyes shining. 

“Yes! I also got this month’s edition of Fashion Forward and guess who is on the cover?”

“Kim Junmyeon?” Baekhyun doesn’t even pretend to be surprised.

“YES! And yesterday night I…”

“You spent almost all the night reading and re-reading the interview and admiring Junmyeon that you couldn’t sleep at all and so that’s why you are late this morning. Wait a minute! You didn’t even open the camera, right? You idiot!” Baekhyun grumbles.

Chanyeol is silent. And now Baekhyun feels bad.

“Alright, I’m sorry I yelled. Show me the camera!”

Chanyeol then opens and shows his brand new Fujifilm excitedly and Baekhyun is genuinely happy for his best friend. Although they bicker all the time, they only have each other in this godforsaken company, which practically exploits them. Baekhyun doesn’t mind because he is just there for the summer and he may or may not take up photography as a career. But for Chanyeol, this is his life. 

“Baek, don’t yell at me again but do you ever wonder how people around the same age as us, like Junmyeon, are already well established in their fields?”

“Hmm….I don't usually think that much about it. I know I’m spoiled and privileged because of my family but deep down I guess people who are immensely successful have their own problems, bigger problems actually. I’d rather not be THAT famous because every little thing I fuck up becomes a national news. No thanks. And relax bro, you just finished college. Don't think too much, you will make it big someday.”

Chanyeol flashes his bright smile for the first time that day. 

Junmyeon’s manager Yooseok is waiting for him in the living room of Junmyeon’s home. Junmyeon went for a shower since he just finished his morning workout. Yooseok is going through Junmyeon’s schedule for the day which includes shooting until 1 PM, then a press conference for his upcoming release, and then a charity dinner in the evening.  
“Good Morning, Yooseok hyung!”, Junmyeon relaxes on his couch.

“Morning Junmyeon. Schedule looks pretty okay today. Shouldn’t be too exhausting for you, I guess.” He hands over the sheet for Junmyeon to take a look.

“Hot hot pancakes here!” says his cook in her signature, high pitched, excited voice.

Junmyeon and Yooseok rush towards the dining room unable to resist the delicious pancake smell.

“Aaa Gamjajeon (potato pancakes), ahjumma you are the best!” Junmyeon bows to her and in the next second he is already chewing and savoring the first piece of his pancake. 

“I’m happy you like them sir.” Han Mi Kyung’s hands always do magic in the kitchen. She is in her fifties, very professional (refuses to call Junmyeon anything other than sir) and works as Junmyeon’s personal chef. Since she wants to spend her time with her granddaughter, Junmyeon never lets her stay after mornings. So she cooks him all meals in the morning, stores them in the refrigerator so he can reheat them or packs them up if he has outdoor shootings. Today she packed him zucchini dumplings and Tofu bibimbap for lunch and Junmyeon is already looking forward to noon.

“Junmyeon, there is this annual filmmakers and actors association meeting this Saturday at the Heritage Hotel downtown. They sent an invitation a while ago and I keep forgetting to bring it up. They requested that you attend the event. Do you want to go?”, asks Yooseok chewing his pancakes and preparing for a no since Junmyeon usually keeps to himself on off days and prefers staying at home reading or gardening instead.

“Hmm…yes, why not?” he says, washing down the pancakes with the freshly squeezed orange juice from the oranges in his garden.

If Yooseok is surprised, he is good at hiding it. He quickly makes a note of it on his iPad and marks Junmyeon’s calendar as booked from 6 PM to 8 PM that Saturday.

Junmyeon didn’t know why he said yes but he thought two hours isn’t too bad. Plus he likes the Heritage Hotels. The food, the ambience and the service are top notch.  


“Eww this tastes like shit”, Baekhyun fakes a gag while eating tteokbokki at a local park. Tteokbokki can’t taste bad. Never. But this vendor perhaps has a weird talent to make them taste like rubber.

Chanyeol swallows it hoping that would get rid of the weird flavor on his tongue. They rush to get some water or coke or anything that takes away the aftertaste. They finally find a vending machine, get a bottle of water each and gulps it all in one go. 

“How the hell did we end up eating that? Oh wait a minute. YOU are the one that dragged me to that stall when we were hungry”, Chanyeol points his large fingers at Baekhyun, his eyes now big and round.

Baekhyun looks around pretending he didn’t hear that. Unsuccessfully.

He looks around not trying to meet Chanyeol’s eyes. “Well, I just saw it on the Maps and it had good ratings so…”

Chanyeol shakes his head and chuckles. They both break into laughter. How did they end up at the worst Tteokbokki stall ever, when there are literally tens of food carts around them?

They came to the Annual food festival being held at a huge park near downtown Seoul. They tried so many different variations of Korean food and other international food and are just praying that their stomachs will be alright for tomorrow. They have another boring event to cover tomorrow.

“I need to tell you something but promise me you won’t go crazy or weird.” Baekhyun is serious.

Chanyeol looks worried. Baekhyun is rarely serious. What could it be?

“Okay, I promise”, Chanyeol is nervous now.

“Okay so there is this event in our hotel this Saturday. A huge event. For some film actors association.”

Chanyeol’s excited already. What is this? Perhaps…Kim Junmyeon?

Baekhyun continues. “My dad just told me yesterday that our hotel’s event department got a confirmation that Junmyeon is attending the event.”

Chanyeol freezes. He is shocked, stunned. He just stands there, his lips making a big O and eyes wide open. 

“Yeol are you ok? Hey! BLINK! BREATHE!” Baekhyun shakes him.

“Yeah. I’m just…Baek…is..is there any chance I can get the entry?”

“Chance? Shut up! Heritage Hotels is owned by my family, so of course we are going.”

“OH MY GOD, Baek, I think I’m going to faint, this is unreal….I mean me? Meeting Kim Junmyeon? THE Junmyeon?” He looks like he is really about to faint with joy.

“Hey now, don't you faint or hug me or whatever you do when you are too happy!”

“No no I’m okay, I’m super happy”, He jumps and hugs Baekhyun almost making him out of breath. Baekhyun thought a few bones broke but it doesn’t matter, Chanyeol is overjoyed and excited and…Baekhyun doesn’t know that feeling. He really doesn’t have any celebrities he would die to meet and moreover he always got what he wanted and had lovely parents who supported him no matter what. Sometimes he wished he had something, some passion or anything that’s difficult to achieve. No, he isn’t a masochist but he wants to experience how pain, longing or missing someone feels like.

Junmyeon gets out of the shower and looks at his bed. His stylist already picked out a set of formal clothes for the event at the Heritage Hotel today. It is Saturday and Junmyeon spent all of the morning picking out any weed in the garden and mowing his lawn. These are the little things that he always does himself which keep him grounded and makes him feel like he’s a human too and not some sort of super star or a demigod his fans perceive him to be.

Today is one of the rare occasions he agreed to go out for an event on an off day and he now has second thoughts about attending the event. But he already promised his manager and the event organizers that he would be there so opting out now is not an option. Maybe he can leave the event early. Usually on off days at this time, he watches a movie, cooks for himself, watches a movie again until he dozes off on the couch. It is usually a day for moping, to feel how single and alone he is, reminiscing his childhood with his grandma and trying not to think about his parents.

He is wearing a navy blue tuxedo tonight. His hair is pushed back and is dyed black. Although his natural hair color is black, it rarely stays the same color because he is required to dye the hair for his movie characters. Most of the characters Junmyeon played until a while ago are of lovely young college guy or rom coms and it is only last year that he ventured into psychological thriller, tragedy genre which was surprisingly a success. He didn't think the audiences would accept him in roles like that. He always thought no one would accept him as he is. Perhaps that's why he changed his persona for the public and that’s why no one ever knew him up close. He is afraid. He is scared that they will stop liking him if he is himself. But tonight, he should be the superstar Junmyeon everyone knows. The superstar everyone expects him to be. He remembers to smile, to be charming and confident.

Chanyeol couldn’t sleep at all, the night before. He got a nice and neat haircut, pressed his only pair of suit and formal pants twice, kept calling Baekhyun until Baekhyun threatened to block his number, video called his parents to share this news for which they sounded so unexcited (how can they be so unexcited when it is Junmyeon?!!) And it felt like Saturday evening is taking forever to come.

Junmyeon…how will he look like up close? How does he talk? Does he smile? What if he doesn't like Chanyeol? What if Chanyeol screws something up that makes Junmyeon disgusted? He kept tossing and turning on his bed waiting desperately for Saturday to come.

He wakes up to his phone buzzing. It’s Baekhyun. 14 Missed calls. FUCK! He might have slept somewhere around 5 in the morning and now it is 2 PM. He should get ready, he should be there at the hotel. He wanted to assist Baekhyun with the arrangements for the event. Baekhyun always assists his hotel crew for events. He wants to get along with everyone there, learn people management first, if one day he wants to take over.

He quickly takes a shower and turns to look into the mirror. He overslept, his face and eyes are swollen. No. This can’t be happening today. He needs to look his absolute best tonight. He calls Baekhyun.

“Baek, quickly tell me how do I make my swollen eyes look normal?”

“Are you serious? I’m so fucking busy here because you overslept and you…”

Chanyeol doesn’t listen to what Baekhyun was saying.   
“Alright, I’m sorry Baek, just quickly tell me”

“Ugh get an eye mask I guess…the sheet masks. They work faster” He disconnects the call.

“Thank you, you are a sav…” Chanyeol mutters and then realizes that it is already disconnected.

Eye mask. Now where to get one? He quickly goes downstairs of his apartment and across the street to the supermarket, beelines to the skincare section, grabs an eye mask, checks out and opens it as soon as he’s out on the road. He sticks them to his under-eye and there may have been a few ‘is he weird’ stares but he doesn’t really care. 

He puts on the suit and the pants and marvels at his own image in the mirror. Baekhyun calls him a narcissist but Chanyeol is just confident. Confident about his looks and his height. The black suit, with a white button down looks so incredibly good on him. He carefully combs his hair making sure that not a single hair is out of place and then sprays his favorite cologne, the one with peony and blush suede from Jo Malone, a gift from Baekhyun for his birthday the year before.

He looks perfect.

Chanyeol arrives in a taxi to the Heritage Hotel in the downtown at around 4 PM. Most of the arrangements for the event are already done with only a few last minute improvements pending. Chanyeol looks around the banquet hall with wonder, marveling at how beautiful the decorations were. There is a giant chandelier at the center which makes the white tiles on the floor shine like diamonds. Everyone looks so immaculately dressed, most of them belonging to elite communities. Chanyeol feels like he doesn’t belong there. He is nervous. He immediately looks for Baekhyun.

Baekhyun is near the exit of the banquet hall on the other side talking to his dad and some of the hotel managers.

“Chanyeollie! How are you doing son?”, Baekhyun’s father is almost the same height as Baekhyun but unlike Baekhyun, one look at him and you can say he is a rich man, born and brought up in a wealthy family. He is not a strict disciplinarian but his aura is a little intimidating. He likes Chanyeol and has known him for many years now. He is warm and welcoming as always.

Chanyeol bows to him as they exchange pleasantries. 

His phone rings and he excuses himself, answering the call. 

“Whoa, you look sharp, Yeol. You look…mature. Nice job with the hair though.” Baekhyun winks.

“Is it good? Wow that’s a relief. But Baek, my hands are sweating already, I’m pretty sure I would be tongue tied around Junmyeon, if I even get to talk to him that is.”

“You worry too much. You need something to get you distracted. Here, this is a list of all things that should be in place within the next one hour. Check the things off if you feel like they’re in the right place. If not, here’s Mr. Cha”, he points to a quite good looking manager busy talking to the food caterers a few feet away.

“Got it”, Chanyeol mutters, taking a quick glance at the sheet. It had 34 items that needed to be checked. He quickly gets to work, putting Junmyeon at the back of his brain.

Junmyeon calls his manager. “I’m ready Mr. Yoo. Would you be tagging along?”

“No, sorry Junmyeon. I really can’t today. Seo Jung has a schedule now and I need to be there.”

Manager Yoo also manages another new and coming actress Jung Seo Jung. She might need his help more than Junmyeon, now that Junmyeon is quite capable of dealing with a lot of the things in the industry on his own. Not the finances though, he could never manage them. He doesn’t understand all the taxes, numbers and all that stuff. Thank God for his manager and his team.

“Ahh okay, I understand. I will be starting now then” 

“Sounds good, take care Junmyeon. And have a great time there. Goodnight!”, he hangs up.

Junmyeon is never late to an event or a shoot. He is proud of his punctuality, one of the very few good things he learned from his attorney parents. 

Here he is, about to go to a party. He hates parties. He hated them when he was a child. Parties remind him of his parents belittling him in front of their elite friends. “Ohh Junmyeon, he is weird. Who doesn’t want to take over a law firm being offered to him on a platter? He wants to do some crazy stuff instead, entertaining people…He just enjoys attention I guess” His dad’s voice still echoes in his head.

His driver interrupts his thoughts. “Ready to go sir”

Junmyeon climbs in the back seat thinking this party better be worth his weekend time and the movies he watches and that dozing off on the couch.

Junmyeon arrives at the hotel five minutes before 6PM. There are around 100 cameras waiting at the entrance of the hotel, and the photographers swarming, pushing each other to get a better angle and view of the stars and the producers arriving for the event.

“There he is”, a fangirl screams, pointing at Junmyeon’s Maserati.

Reporters and photographers rush to Junmyeon’s car capturing several shots of him getting out of the car and smiling. He waves at the fans and the reporters, signs a few of the posters his fans held, clicks selfies with them in their phones…the superstar Junmyeon takes over.

His bodyguards form a U around him while they escort him into the hotel’s lobby.

Chanyeol is outside the banquet hall on the third floor and he could see Junmyeon entering the lobby. He freezes. 

This is real. 

He can see Junmyeon. Not on a TV or a magazine but the one in person.

Junmyeon is talking to someone in the lobby, a pretty woman, might be one of the hotel’s staff. He looks ethereal, he is wearing a navy blue tuxedo, black hair pushed back. He is a small, tiny man. Chanyeol thinks he’s cute. He is too happy, he doesn’t know what to do. His eyes well up with tears blurring everything, he rubs his eyes gently, careful not to make them swollen again. He cannot go outside now and get an eye mask. He always has his pocket camera on him. He quickly gets a few snaps of Junmyeon from the third floor. He wants to remember this moment forever, the moment he saw Junmyeon for the first time.

The woman offers him a bouquet on behalf of the hotel and walks with him to the elevators and they get in. Chanyeol’s heart is pounding. He quickly texts Baekhyun saying “he is here, now coming up”

Baekhyun replies “We are all set”

Chanyeol is looking at the elevator door as if his life depended on it. He can feel his heart, beating super loud. The door opens and since he is not in front of the elevator door, he could only see the woman coming out first. And then Junmyeon. He bows to the hotel staff waiting for him in the third floor lobby and flashes a smile, a beautiful smile. And his teeth, they’re so amazing, so pearly white.

Junmyeon is walking towards the door of the banquet hall and Chanyeol is now so close to him. He is tall so he stands out. Junmyeon is smiling and shaking hands with people. It was then that his eyes met Chanyeol’s. Junmyeon smiles at him, that pretty, endearing smile. Chanyeol returns it, a little too enthusiastically. Junmyeon smiles and nods at him again before going inside the hall.

Chanyeol clutches his heart. This just happened. OH MY GOD. 

Once Junmyeon is inside, he gets busy talking to other directors, actors and producers. He has this superstar aura around him, he is very charming, polite and a gentle talker. People flocked around him to have a part in the banter. They were served drinks and Junmyeon opts for cranberry juice. “Hmm no alcohol, nice”, Chanyeol’s looking at Junmyeon from a corner in the hall. He mirrors Junmyeon involuntarily. When Junmyeon smiles, he smiles. When Junmyeon adjusts his tuxedo, Chanyeol does too.

Baekhyun is standing beside Chanyeol overseeing everything. He nudges him on the elbow. “Seriously? Stop staring at him, you look like an idiot”

Chanyeol grimaces and then pouts. The waiting staff then asks for their drink preferences. Chanyeol opts for a cranberry juice, obviously. Baekhyun looks at Junmyeon and then at Chanyeol again and shakes his head, sighing. Baekhyun goes for a Vodka. While they are about to have their drinks, the head of the film actors association begins his speech. He talks about how the industry had evolved into the institution it is now, thanked all the actors and producers for their hard work and also about the orphanage to which all the donations are going today. Everyone claps. Junmyeon does too, so does Chanyeol.

He then invites the guest this year, Kim Junmyeon to speak. Junmyeon bows to him, smiles and then proceeds to go towards the stage. He briefly glances at Chanyeol, since he is the tallest among the staff and the hotel people there. Chanyeol attempts to smile but Junmyeon then looks away and climbs up the stage. 

“Hello everyone!” He bows and smiles. Chanyeol bows too. Baekhyun looks around worriedly. “Stop embarrassing me”, he hisses. Chanyeol doesn’t care. He is smitten.

Junmyeon notices that but he is successful in hiding his smile. “It’s a pleasure to see you all tonight here. It always feels fantastic to see the film industry united for charitable and meaningful causes like these. I have been donating to this orphanage for the past few years now and I fully support everything they stand for.”

His speech goes on and then all the rich people proceed to drop their checks.

“I’m poor too, they might as well donate all that money to me”, Chanyeol chuckles and looks at Baekhyun.

“Idiot, those children have nothing” Baekhyun is serious.

“I know, I was just kidding.” Chanyeol has a shocked look on his face. “But Baek, you are really a stuck up asshole when you’re into work.” He doesn’t know why he’s gotten mad now and walks away from Baekhyun towards where the buffet is being served, to check if everything is going okay.

Baekhyun tries to go after him but then his dad calls him.

Chanyeol walks along the tables where the buffet is being served, keenly looking at each dish, and making a note of the ones that need to be refilled.

Junmyeon is helping himself with some salad. Chanyeol walks right into him.

Junmyeon almost drops his plate but his fast reflexes catch it before it touches the ground. Chanyeol’s mouth is now a big O and hands across his mouth.

“Oh my god, I-I- I’m so sorry, so sorry, I didn’t notice you were here. I was just noting down which one of these needs a refill and…” he stutters and blabbers.

“That’s okay, relax, no worries. I’m fine”, Junmyeon smiles.

Chanyeol is still overwhelmed. He is talking to Junmyeon now. Talking. Him and Junmyeon.

He wipes his sweaty palms on his suit. “I’m Park Chanyeol, by the way.” he extends his hand for a handshake.

Junmyeon returns the handshake. His hands are smooth, soft but the grip is firm. Confident. Chanyeol is clearly ecstatic. He was HOLDING Junmyeon’s hand now. Wow.

“Kim Junmyeon, but you already know it”, Junmyeon chuckles.

“Y-yes! I- I’m a photographer, well hopefully one day. Just an intern for now.” Chanyeol is embarrassed to say the word ‘intern’.

“Oh! That’s interesting”, Junmyeon looks genuinely interested.

“So, are you covering this event today?” Junmyeon looks down Chanyeol’s chest. Broad shoulders and probably a toned body. “I don’t see a camera on you”, Junmyeon says.

“No no, I’m not here today as a photographer. I’m a friend of this hotel owner’s son, Baekhyun, over there”, he points towards Baekhyun, who is busy speaking to his father on the opposite corner of the banquet hall. “I’m just making sure everything is in place” He didn’t want to say that he came for Junmyeon.

Junmyeon moves closer to Chanyeol to try to see who Baekhyun is. He is standing on his toes and Chanyeol notices Junmyeon smelled amazing, mostly of flowers. Must be some super expensive cologne. And how tiny he really is. Junmyeon too, can’t help but notice how tall Chanyeol is. He could barely reach Chanyeol’s shoulders.

“Oh, I think I saw him before but Mr.Byun never introduced him to me. I have been to a few events here and I like Heritage Hotels though. The service and the food” he points to the buffet “are so good. One of the few hotels that has a wide range of amazing vegetarian dishes”

“Ah that’s right, you turned into a vegetarian 5 years ago and you grow most of your food in the garden at your home. I read your interviews. I’m a huge fan”, Chanyeol flashes a toothy smile but immediately regrets. He doesn’t want to sound like an overly eager or an overly curious fan. He doesn’t want to make Junmyeon uncomfortable.

Junmyeon is a little surprised at that. He is a fan and Junmyeon likes it. Having fans everywhere isn’t exactly surprising to him but when he saw Chanyeol for the first time, he looked intimidating, with that height and a concentrated, passionate look on his face. Not exactly like the people who like Junmyeon, as an actor of course. Most of his fans are cute. Chanyeol is cute too when he smiles, but the suit and pants and that slick hair on him, makes him look hot.

Junmyeon proceeds to walk to get some appetizers on his plate. 

“Why don’t you grab a plate? Or did you eat already?” Junmyeon asks but wonders why he did that. He doesn’t do this with strangers. But Chanyeol doesn't seem like one and it’s just one meal.

Chanyeol’s mind stops working now. Eating with Junmyeon. What? Is this real?

“I-I...” he stutters. 

“Um, it's perfectly fine if you want to eat with your friend”, Junmyeon is a tiny bit sad. Junmyeon looks like he is now regretting his question. But why? He doesn’t even know Chanyeol.

“No no no that’s not what I wanted to say. It’s just, I never would have dreamed that I would eat with you, so just a little surprised. I’d love to do so, it’d be an honor. Wait let me get a plate”, he rushes towards the front end of the table where plates are neatly arranged like a pyramid. He grabs one.

Junmyeon waits. He can’t help but notice Chanyeol’s tall, wobbly legs. Chanyeol doesn’t seem like the person he met just now. There is something about him that makes Junmyeon feel comfortable and it made the superstar Junmyeon take a backseat for now. 

Chanyeol comes back with a few veggies from the salad. His plate looked like he was a picky eater. 

“You don’t eat beets?” Junmyeon asks, looking at his plate.

Chanyeol chuckles. “I’m not a fan of veggies to be honest” He puts his tongue out playfully. 

He looks adorable. That little pout on the bottom lip, his cologne, his playfulness, the way his eyes light up when he looks at Junmyeon, that smile - everything about Chanyeol is adorable. Junmyeon is scared, this feels all too familiar. No, he cannot do this again. He cannot disappoint everyone.

Junmyeon’s expression hardens.

“I- I don’t mean that I hate all veggies, I do eat salads and veggie stuff sometimes…I didn’t mean to say the veggies are bad.” Chanyeol is worried that he made Junmyeon upset.

“Oh my god, no, I’m sorry and you please stop apologizing.” Junmyeon comes out of his reverie. “I wasn’t mad, I was just thinking about something else…”

“Ah okay then! The sweet potato roll sushi here is amazing! Let’s go”, Chanyeol guides Junmyeon to the vegetarian section of the buffet. He was clearly overjoyed. Junmyeon could feel Chanyeol’s happiness. And that feels good.

When they finally reach the dessert section, an elderly man walks in Junmyeon’s direction. He is approximately in his 70s and is walking with a cane. He looks at Junmyeon and lets out a bright smile. 

“Hello PD-nim, how are you doing? It’s been a long time”, Junmyeon says, walking towards the old man, bowing and offering his arm so the man can have some support.  
He then signals to the hotel staff to get a dinner plate for the man and makes him sit with him and Chanyeol.

Chanyeol is confused but manages to smile and bow to the old man. Junmyeon introduces him to Chanyeol as “This is Lee Soo Man ssi, one of the legendary PDs in the industry.”

Chanyeol has heard the name a lot of times, this man must be really famous. “This is um...Chanyeol”

“Park Chanyeol”, Chanyeol says with a smile.

Junmyeon returns the smile and Soo man looks at them both and smiles.

Chanyeol politely excuses himself, looking back twice at Junmyeon to say bye at least. This has been the most wonderful day in his existence. He wants to thank the universe.

Junmyeon is busy talking to the PD nim but calls Chanyeol’s name. Chanyeol turns looking at a smiling Junmyeon walking towards him. Wow. God is too kind to him today.

“Here, this is my manager’s email and contact information. If you want to work with my PR/social media team, like photography and stuff, you can talk to him. And...it was really nice meeting you today”, he extends his hand for a handshake.

Chanyeol is euphoric. Working in Junmyeon’s team? Being able to work closer with him? Who wouldn’t want that? Oh my god, this is real. This moment. Now. Words are failing him, like always.

“I-I’m speechless, thank you so much, Junmyeon. You have no idea how much this” he looks adoringly at the card Junmyeon gave him “means to me...I really cannot thank you enough. I can’t wait to see you again”

“Likewise! It was nice to meet you Chanyeol”, Junmyeon’s smiles and his eyes turn into happy little crescents. His tiny bunny teeth are prominent. Chanyeol’s heart skips a beat. “I don’t deserve this”, he mumbles to himself.

“Umm did you say something?” Junmyeon asks.

“No, I was just...I was just saying nice to have met you and honored to have had dinner with you, if this counts as a dinner”, he chuckles.

“It sure is! If you don't mind, I need to get back now, Soo Man PD nim is alone there, so…”

“Oh yeah sure, please carry on”, Chanyeol does an awkward bow and then waves goodbye to Junmyeon. He watches Junmyeon as he walks towards the old man, smiling.

Baekhyun nudges Chanyeol from behind. “I don’t get how these management staff handle all this each day, this is so hard Yeol.” He stretches his hands, twisting his waist.

“Oh yeah, I saw you talking to Junmyeon. How is he in real life? A jerk like all the superstars? Did you embarrass yourself? Tell me all about it Yeol, NOW”, Baekhyun is excited.

“He is not a jerk”, Chanyeol glares.

“Alright okay, what did you guys talk about? Wait, I'm starving. Let’s talk while eating”, Baekhyun looks tired but his energy is unbelievable.

“We already ate, but I will sit with you”, Chanyeol blushes.

“WE? Ohooo Park Chanyeol, did you just say you had dinner with Junmyeon?”, Baekhyun makes his eyebrows dance playfully. 

“We just talked and ate together” Chanyeol is clearly shy now. His ears are turning red.

“So you had a date with Kim Junmyeon, whoa!”, Baekhyun teases him.

“It’s-it’s not like that!! He was very sweet and cute and so beautiful, you won’t believe Baek, his eyes are so shiny, his smile is just...angelic”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes.

“Okay, he is so down to earth. He doesn’t have that superstar celebrity vibe, it just felt like I was talking to a friend, he made me feel so comfortable. And..” he pulls out the card Junmyeon gave him from his pocket. “he gave me his manager’s contact info so I can reach out to him, to work with Junmyeon’s PR team, like for his photos in social media”

Baekhyun’s jaw drops. His mouth is a big O now. 

“Seriously? Yeol, this is HUGE”, he pulls Chanyeol into a hug, patting his back. Baekhyun then looks at Junmyeon from a distance, who was speaking to an old man, with concern etched on his face. “He seems like a really good person”, Baekhyun says smiling.

“He is”, Chanyeol nods. This has been the most amazing evening ever. 

Baekhyun is among the last ones having food and Chanyeol feels bad that he got mad at him earlier. “I’m sorry I got mad at you Baek, I know you were kidding, I was just so nervous at the time.”

“Don’t worry about it, we’re good. And by the way, thank me for that! If not for me saying that, you wouldn’t have come here and had your nice little date with Junmyeon”, he winks.

“Shut up! It’s not like a date...”, Chanyeol’s cheeks are red.

“But Yeol, I’m really happy for you. Don’t you dare think you don’t deserve this or whatever crap you always say. If I know anyone who deserves this break, it’s you. Don’t hesitate and reach out to his manager. I’m serious.”, Baekhyun says, squeezing Chanyeol’s arm. He knows Chanyeol better than anyone. 

The event is about to wrap up and they raised around 500 million won, to be donated to charity. Junmyeon still seems to be very busy talking to the PD. Chanyeol wonders what it is that made Junmyeon’s expression seem so painful and concerned. 

Hotel staff is again busy making sure the celebs are not mobbed and letting them safely get downstairs and into their cars. Chanyeol looks at Junmyeon’s direction, Junmyeon turns around at the same time making Chanyeol flustered. He smiles, nods and waves bye to Chanyeol from a distance. Chanyeol smiles back, and waves. He is holding the card Junmyeon gave them, as if it were a delicate feather. 

****

Baekhyun drops off Chanyeol at his apartment and reminds him once again to contact Junmyeon’s manager the next day.   
  
“Goodnight Yeol, see you on Monday”, he says, yawning. Baekhyun is exhausted but he never admits that he is tired. 

“Drive carefully, listen to some music or podcast or something. Don’t sleep please”, Chanyeol says waving him goodbye. Baekhyun drives away, wanting to just sleep.

Chanyeol is still overwhelmed with all the events today. He has replayed everything that happened at the event, maybe 100 times now in his mind. He would never have believed that he would talk to Junmyeon one day, let alone sit and eat with him.

He likes Junmyeon 10x more now. 

****

Junmyeon is in comfortable pajamas and on his bed, trying to focus on the script he’s reading. What happened to him at the party today? That wasn’t the actor Junmyeon. He remembers Do Kyungsoo...but why today? Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are nothing alike.Chanyeol is tall, way taller than Kyungsoo and talks more. 

Do Kyungsoo is the first person Kim Junmyeon ever had a crush on. Junmyeon was always admired by the girls for his looks and charisma but he was never the one to approach anyone and talk. When he was in college, majoring in film and theatre, Kyungsoo was his teammate. His partner in many plays. His best friend. Confidant.

“You are not funny, Junmyeon.” 

He closed his eyes and could see Kyungsoo rolling his eyes at Junmyeon and not laughing at his jokes. Junmyeon’s jokes aren’t that bad but Kyungsoo never gave in. Junmyeon smiles, involuntarily. The thought of Kyungsoo brings so much warmth to him. Their long late night walks at the park, the fluttering of his heart, their trembling hands when they held each others’, the heart that felt like it would come out of his chest when he kissed Kyungsoo for the first time...he misses Kyungsoo. He misses having him by his side always, encouraging him, comforting him, making fun of him and...loving him.

Junmyeon feels so small, so lonely.

He closes his eyes again. This time he hears his mother’s voice, humiliating Kyungsoo.

“Junmyeon you can do better, what IS this guy really? They don’t even have money and he’s in that loser business like you? Theatre arts seriously? Who will give him a job anyway?”

It hurts. Bile raises in his throat. He could feel all those emotions, all over again.

His father joins. “Are you sure you guys are really friends?” That familiar condescending tone. “I know you are gays too, what a perfect LOSER package!”

Junmyeon closed his eyes. No. He doesn’t want to remember his parents. He doesn’t want to miss Kyungsoo. 

He curls up into a tiny ball and sobs quietly into his blanket. Something about Chanyeol made him lose his guard and be himself tonight. It’s been ages since he was like that with another person. It felt refreshing but also brought back all the pain he never wants to relive.

But he remembers to text his manager that night, letting him know that if a guy named Chanyeol ever contacted him about a photography gig, just let Junmyeon know.

Junmyeon is on location shooting on Monday and waves a hi to his manager Yooseok. Yooseok looked like he had just seen a ghost.

“What happened? Are you alright?”, Junmyeon asks.

“I’m alright, are YOU alright Junmyeon?”

“Um I’m fine, do I look weird?”, Junmyeon looks at his arms, legs and clothes.

“No I mean after the event on Saturday...I saw your text message. It’s so unlike you, making a new friend and recommending them to our PR team…” Yooseok tries not to make that sound offensive. He doesn’t mean to hurt Junmyeon’s feelings by saying that he doesn’t have friends.

Junmyeon takes a few seconds to even process the question.

“Uhhh… I mean Chanyeol seemed to be a great guy, really passionate about his work. As for friends, I cannot say that yet. He was so easy to talk to. And..and he likes me”

“A fan”, Junmyeon immediately adds.

Yooseok is still looking like he had seen a ghost.

“Junmyeon...that’s really great. I’m happy for you...I mean I’m happy we are gonna have a new member in the team, we could really use new ideas and extra hands” Yooseok smiles. A genuine, heartwarming smile. “I will let you know when he contacts me for the position”

Things seem real now. Last Saturday, during the event, it was crazy. A euphoria. After meeting Chanyeol, Junmyeon felt something familiar. But the night after that and yesterday were hard. He remembered and felt things he wanted to erase forever. But it felt oddly comforting to confront those emotions and feelings that he kept buried. He smiles, not even realizing why.

****

Chanyeol is preparing his CV, tweaking it to at least make it look like he is fit for the job and he doesn’t want to be hired just because he spoke to Junmyeon at an event, organized at a hotel owned by his best friend’s family. He wants to prove that he’s worthy and deserves to work in Junmyeon’s team.

He calls his parents, tells them about his meeting with Junmyeon. His mother seemed so interested in knowing how movie stars are like in real life and warned him not to believe in anything they say. He doesn’t tell them that he’s applying for this position. He just doesn’t want to disappoint them in case Junmyeon’s team doesn’t like him. That seems totally possible since he doesn’t have much experience working in photography, outside of his internship. He does have some amazing shots to show off, but he just isn’t sure.

He dozes off with his phone in one hand and the other hand on his laptop. 

****  
The next day at work, Chanyeol could barely concentrate. He is fidgeting, shaking his legs. He was staring at the computer with the photo editing software open but nothing was being done. He is nervous. He doesn’t want to call Junmyeon’s manager. It just didn’t sound good. He takes one look around the office. Baekhyun is laughing, talking to another senior colleague. Everyone seems to like Baekhyun, not just because he is rich but because they genuinely want to spend time with him. His colleagues and manager are good people, but this is an unpaid internship and that too is understandable since theirs is a relatively new company and everyone is busy doing their best. 

Chanyeol wants to do his best too but no matter how much he does, it is always the events and press releases which is something he doesn’t want to keep doing. He also needs the money. He gathers all his courage, and hits send on the email that had his CV attached. He was hesitating to send yesterday to Manager Yooseok. He then picks up his phone and rushes out, to make a call.

He dials Manager Yooseok’s number.

Ring Ring Ring

Chanyeol’s heart beats faster, louder. And then, a man answers it.

“Hello, this is Yooseok speaking.”

“Yooseok ssi hello! I-I’m Park Chanyeol and I’m calling you about an opportunity for me to work with your team, I met Kim-”

“Oh Chanyeol ssi, hello! Yes, yes of course. Junmyeon told me that you would call”

Chanyeol stares at the phone for a second, his jaw dropping. Junmyeon remembered about him. Junmyeon felt that Chanyeol was important enough that he already told his manager to take his call. He collects himself and puts the phone back to his ear. 

“Hello? Chanyeol- ssi are you there?”

“Y-yes, yes, I’m here. It was such a pleasure actually to have met Junmyeon ssi at the event last week. I just sent my CV over to you. I’m a photographer and I’m currently working at this ..”

Manager Yooseok smiles. “Chanyeol..if you don’t mind me calling you that?”

“Oh no, of course you can call me Chanyeol”

“Chanyeol, Junmyeon never recommends anyone to me, especially someone to work in his PR, social media team. When he told me about you, I was pleasantly surprised. So yes, of course I will review your CV but you don’t have to go through the formal interview process. We really need someone trustworthy and talented to be in this team and I want to give you that opportunity because I trust Junmyeon.”

Chanyeol was ecstatic. Elated. But he didn’t want it to be like this. He wanted to prove to himself that he deserves this job, not just that Junmyeon met him at an event. 

As if he heard Chanyeol’s thoughts, the manager on the other end of the line says “Well, of course it’s your choice. If you are not comfortable with me just offering you this job, I can give you 3 months to just work here and see if this really suits you and our team and if you want it. Does that sound good?”

“Yes, that sounds great!! I will work really hard Manager nim. I’m sure you will see that I will be a great fit”

The manager laughs. “Haha, yes I’m sure of that! Well, then can you start next week?”

“Yes I can!”

“Very well, I will have one of our team members reach out to you about the formalities, paperwork and background check. Feel free to call me if you have any questions” He hangs up.

Chanyeol jumps into the air. He could hardly control his happiness, he had tears in his eyes. This is surreal. He didn’t even ask about the pay, he knew this is more than just about money.

Baekhyun comes out right at that moment and Chanyeol quickly wipes his tears.

****

The first day, Chanyeol is early to the location. He is tailing a senior member of the PR team today, to see how a day in the life of Junmyeon’s team will be like. It was hectic. He always thought the people in showbiz have a luxurious, relaxing lifestyle but Kim Junmyeon works very hard. He comes prepared with his dialogues for the shoot, making sure his diction and pronunciation are right, for the character. He works until late at night and takes scripts home to be prepped for the next day’s shoot. Amidst all this, Chanyeol did not once see Junmyeon throwing a single tantrum. 

He is now on location, taking pictures for the behind-the-scenes footage along with the other members of the team. Mr. Lee Eun Seong, a senior member of the team, is guiding Chanyeol through the process. Chanyeol is awestruck, watching Junmyeon prepare for the shot. Exactly at that moment, Junmyeon looks at him and his lips form a giant smile exposing his bunny teeth. He murmurs ‘Chanyeol’ and Chanyeol can’t help but notice the way Junmyeon’s lips say his name. He looks beautiful but most importantly, happy. Chanyeol flashes all his teeth and waves to Junmyeon. Junmyeon returns the wave and it was almost like it’s a baby waving excitedly. It was like nothing he ever felt before. He had no idea what kept him tethered to the ground because he felt like he was floating in the air. First day at work and it’s already the best day of his life. Well, may be one of the best. The day he saw Junmyeon for the first time, also counts.

But after that Chanyeol doesn’t get to talk to Junmyeon all day. He was busy learning the duties of a celebrity PR team, observing how they run the agency’s social media accounts, learning how to talk to channels and media companies to secure interviews, the software that enhances and fits in with the picture quality and modes for social media, handling paid partnerships and ad posts for Instagram and so on. His day finally ends at about 6 PM but he already learnt a lot for the first day. Mr. Lee is so pleased with him as Chanyeol is a very quick and passionate learner. He texts Mr. Yoo.

Mr. Lee: The new hire Chanyeol is a good fit. I like him!

“Mr. Lee, I got a hang of the software for social media and also learned about various camera lenses used here from Yeon hee noona”, Chanyeol excitedly updates Mr.Lee.

“Good work, Chanyeol. I was just sending a text to Mr.Yoo about you, I feel like you will be a good addition to our team here. As you can see, we need extra hands. Junmyeon is getting busier each day and he needs us.”  
Chanyeol could not hear the rest of the sentence. His heart pounded with happiness.

“You will be officially employed with the entertainment agency but you will work on Junmyeon’s team. Welcome aboard Chanyeol!”, he shakes Chanyeol’s hand. 

****

Junmyeon wrapped up the shoot for the day. He is on his way to his vanity and then notices Chanyeol standing there, looking at his phone, one hand in his jeans pocket, looking so boyish and young, with that permed fluffy hair of his. He did not notice Junmyeon there, who was about to open the door of his vanity. He could see Chanyeol’s phone screen and the ride sharing app opened on it.

“Looking for a ride, huh?”, Junmyeon smiles.

Chanyeol is startled. He clutches his heart.

“Oh I’m so sorry, didn’t mean to scare you and didn’t mean to pry”, Junmyeon smiles apologetically.“No, no please don’t be sorry.” A bright smile. Reassuring.

“And yes, I just booked a ride to my apartment. Looks like it takes another 10 minutes to be here.”

“Oh! You can come sit with me for a while then, in my vanity, until it arrives, if you like to”, Junmyeon offers, hoping that Chanyeol didn’t mistake the shyness on his face, for hesitation.

Chanyeol is quiet for a minute. He didn't know what to say. He really wants to talk to Junmyeon today, he really wants to sit in his vanity, he really wants to watch Junmyeon in his zone, he really wants to do a lot of things with Junmyeon but all that comes out is a super shy sounding “Is it really okay if I come in there?” 

Junmyeon’s make-up artist helps him remove the makeup and Junmyeon excuses himself into the restroom to take off the costume and comes out in just a t-shirt and shorts. Chanyeol is busy looking around the vanity with wonder, he has never met a celebrity of Junmyeon’s status and of course never been inside their vanity vans. 

Seeing Junmyeon in a t-shirt makes Chanyeol feel more at ease. He isn’t nervous anymore. Junmyeon seemed like a cute boy he met a couple times before and now just sitting for a chat.

Junmyeon takes out his freezable lunch bag and puts the content of it in a microwave. 

“Sorry I didn’t get to have my lunch today. I don’t usually skip my meals but there was this one shot which I couldn’t get right for many takes and so it delayed the shoot.” He rubs his temples.

“I honestly thought actors have it easy but with everything I saw today, I realized I was wrong. This is really hard and painstaking.”

Junmyeon smiles. “I think I have heard this before from a few people from non-filmy backgrounds and I understand where they come from. Some days are really easy, you just relate to any experiences you had in real life and the scene just plays itself. Sometimes, it’s really hard. Mostly emotional scenes.” The smile is gone now. Chanyeol doesn’t press but he could feel that Junmyeon experienced pain and heartbreak before. It was palpable.

The microwave dings signaling that the food is ready. Junmyeon takes out two plates and begins to take out the contents of the bowl. 

“No Junmyeon, that’s okay. I had lunch in the afternoon, you go ahead please! I will eat when I get to my apartment”, Chanyeol says, but the aroma of the contents in the box is irresistible.

“Please, I insist. Just eat a bit, Mi Kyung ahjumma is a terrific cook. And these are healthy too. She made Kongnamul Japchae and Tofu Bimbap today. Try these.” He passes over the plate to Chanyeol. Their fingers brush. Junmyeon pretends he didn’t notice that.

“You really don’t have to…”, Chanyeol hesitantly takes the plate and waits for Junmyeon to come sit and eat. He was expecting Junmyeon to sit opposite him. To his surprise, Junmyeon sits beside him and he smells divine. It’s difficult to focus on anything except Junmyeon’s tiny bunny teeth now prominent because he is smiling, his cheeks shining. 

To distract himself, Chanyeol takes a bite from the bimbap. Wow. Now he gets why Junmyeon always gets home cooked food. This tastes so delicious and is nothing like the store-bought bimbap. It is so tasty and flavorful that Chanyeol finishes all of it within seconds. Junmyeon is eating too but tries to suppress his smile, seeing Chanyeol eat everything. 

“You eat well Chanyeol! It’s so nice to see you eating well”, Junmyeon says after a little while, swallowing his last bite and wiping his mouth. “When I was a kid my nanny had to force me to eat stuff but I was never a foodie. But Mi Kyung ahjumma just knows how to make me crave food” he washes and wipes his hands clean.

Before Chanyeol even thinks about asking Junmyeon about his childhood, his phone dings, notifying him that his ride is here. Junmyeon could read the slightly disappointed look on Chanyeol’s face. He too doesn't want Chanyeol to leave already, He wants to talk to Chanyeol, get to know him better. But Junmyeon isn’t brave enough to do that. He was never brave enough. Not when his parents always insulted him for taking up arts, not when they insulted Kyungsoo, not even now. Instead he just smiles and waves goodnight to him when Chanyeol steps out of his vanity.

****

A month passes by with Chanyeol occasionally visiting (and eating with Junmyeon) Junmyeon’s vanity and them talking about everything and nothing at the same time. Chanyeol realizes that he still doesn't know even a bit more about Junmyeon than what he did when he first met him at the event almost two months ago now. On the other hand, Junmyeon now knows about Chanyeol’s hometown, his parents, his apartment and Baekhyun. 

The next day Chanyeol has to go to Junmyeon’s home to get some pictures for a paid promotion on social media. Little did he know that Junmyeon is way more nervous than him and is pacing around the living room since morning. 

Chanyeol waits at the front gate and the security lets him in. He rings the doorbell with hands slightly shaking. He has never seen a home as beautiful as Junmyeon’s home and in fact has never been to this elite neighborhood. He has gotten closer, at least he feels like he has gotten closer to Junmyeon but the fact that Junmyeon practically shares nothing with him, makes him doubt if Junmyeon is really happy with Chanyeol around. Chanyeol spent a few sleepless nights thinking he might have made Junmyeon uncomfortable. The door opens, pulling Chanyeol out of his reverie.

Junmyeon is standing there, all dressed up for the photoshoot. He is wearing a pastel pink blazer over a white button down, paired with denims. He looked so boyish and charming. 

“Good Morning Chanyeol! Come, come inside”

“Good morning…” Chanyeol looks around the house in awe. It is so chic, modern and cozy too. From the couch on the living room, there are floor to ceiling glass windows that give an incredible view of the garden with pretty hues of colors from the tulips, hydrangeas, pansies and roses. 

“Your house is so beautiful! And that garden is just WOW!” Chanyeol points a finger to the garden.

“Thank you! Cannot take all the credit though.” Junmyeon chuckles.

“Do you want to take a look?”

“What? Oh yes I’d love to!” 

Chanyeol puts all his camera equipment on the couch and walks with Junmyeon towards the garden, passing by the kitchen. Mi Kyung ahjumma is preparing Junmyeon’s meals for the day. Chanyeol stops, bows and wishes good morning to her. She returns the bow and politely says “Good morning sir!”

“No it’s okay you can call me Chanyeol, ahjumma”

Junmyeon grins beside Chanyeol. “Good luck getting her to not call you sir.”

Mi kyung smiles. “Nice to finally meet you. Sir has told me so much about you.”

Junmyeon’s eyes widen. He did not expect her to say that. Chanyeol is in disbelief. He looks at Mi Kyung and then back to Junmyeon.

“Good things I hope”, he says smiling and not taking his eyes off Junmyeon. Junmyeon blinks, looks at Chanyeol’s eyes, lowers his gaze to Chanyeol’s lips, swallows and now words fail him. He nods of course. Mi Kyung stares at them both gazing at each other.

“I have heard that you like my cooking a lot! I made my signature potato pancakes today, I’ll arrange breakfast in a few minutes. Now if you will excuse me…”, she goes back into the kitchen.

Chanyeol follows Junmyeon to the garden. There is a not-so-awkward silence between them. Junmyeon squats near a pink tulip plant and Chanyeol copies him. He touches the tulip so affectionately, gently feeling the softness and the beauty of the flower. 

“It’s so so beautiful, Junmyeon.” He looks straight into Junmyeon’s shiny eyes. They were so close now that Chanyeol could kiss Junmyeon if he just leans in. Junmyeon wants to touch Chanyeol’s face and feel the happiness that radiates from him always. His hand slowly moves up towards Chanyeol’s face but stops midway. There is no way this is going to happen. Not after Kyungsoo. Not with Chanyeol. No.

Chanyeol looks confused and Junmyeon hates seeing him like that. That is the exact same face filled with dismay when he waits for Junmyeon to say something about his college days after Chanyeol shared about his. That look of disappointment when Chanyeol feels letdown when Junmyeon abruptly changes the topic when Chanyeol asks about his parents. But Junmyeon knows that feeling all too well. Not being enough.

“Should we start the photoshoot? We might be late.”, Junmyeon feigns the ‘this means nothing’ look too well. 

“Oh…oh yes of course we should start, sorry I got carried away by the beauty…” Incredulity on Junmyeon’s face.

“By the flowers I mean” 

Junmyeon is flustered. “Yes, yes of course the flowers, yes.” He quickly proceeds to go back inside the living room, Chanyeol tailing him. The hot potato pancakes are placed on the dining table. 

“Ahjumma would you mind packing these for us? I think we are running late.” Junmyeon says scurrying towards the basement, which is renovated into a photo studio. Chanyeol scrambles too with his camera equipment. The basement is the size of Chanyeol’s entire apartment. He looks around looking for a perfect spot for the pictures.

“Can we do here? I like the light here” Chanyeol points to a spot beside the window.

“Yes, if you think so.”

They finish up the photoshoot for a luxury watch brand and Junmyeon is impressed with Chanyeol’s work. Chanyeol is now standing so close to Junmyeon, their shoulders touching, He is busy showing the pictures one after one to Junmyeon on the camera, so focused. Junmyeon couldn’t focus. 

“Are you alright, Chanyeol?

“Me? Yes I’m alright. Why do you ask?” Chanyeol now sets his camera aside and turns around to face Junmyeon.

“I- no, it’s…earlier I felt like you were uncomfortable..so I wanted to ask”

“Uncomfortable? Me? No way….I’m not uncomfortable with you and was never ever uncomfortable . On the contrary, I like being with you. I feel happy.”

“Really? That’s a relief then. I thought….never mind, I love the pictures! Great work Chanyeol!” Junmyeon is looking down at his toes, fidgeting, with hands in his pockets.

Chanyeol is chewing his lower lip. “See, you are doing it again”

Junmyeon looks up, straight into Chanyeol’s eyes. “Doing what?” He is confused.

“Changing the topic? Hiding whatever you really want to say?” Chanyeol didn’t know where he got the strength from but he manages to actually say this out loud, softly, to Junmyeon, who is looking down again. There is a 10-second long, dreadful silence and Chanyeol replays his tone, his voice and the question again in his mind. Was he harsh? Are they even that close for him to say that?

“Because…because you make me want to be myself around you. I don’t want to have my superstar persona around you because…” he takes in a deep breath, still looking down at the floor. “It isn’t me. The real Junmyeon is this.” He points to himself. “A dull, boring and a pathetic man who constantly thinks about what people think of him, dreads to even start a conversation with someone, afraid to be real for the fear that he will lose them just like he lost Kyungsoo…” Kyungsoo. The name comes out before he realizes that it’s too late. Junmyeon feels dizzy. This cannot be happening. Not with Chanyeol. He is shaking.

Chanyeol is now staring at Junmyeon in disbelief. He just couldn’t believe what he is hearing. 

“You…you are not pathetic. Junmyeon, why?” He shakes his head to just digest what he has just heard. 

“I cannot explain, I don’t know why, it’s just the way I’m, Chanyeol. It is really not easy for me to open up to anyone. I just don’t want to disappoint anyone, especially a happy soul like you. I cannot even bear to think of hurting you.” He is now looking away from Chanyeol, unable to meet his eyes. 

Chanyeol’s eyes are watery. He is fighting back tears. He wished he had the words that comforted Junmyeon but he doesn’t have any. Instead, he touches Junmyeon’s shoulders, turns him around and pulls him gently into his arms. Junmyeon’s head perfectly tucks in his chin. He lightly strokes Junmyeon’s back, like it’s a feather, whispering ‘if only you could see yourself through my lens” in his ear. Junmyeon fights back tears and buries his face in Chanyeol’s shoulder bone. He doesn’t want Chanyeol to see him like this. But it’s too late now. He holds on to Chanyeol’s shirt with his fists, feeling safe for the first time in his life. 

****

Summer turns into autumn and the leaves are transforming themselves into myriad hues. Chanyeol is now confirmed to be a full-time employee in Junmyeon’s team and an essential part of his life. After that day where Junmyeon broke down, he vowed to himself to never show that side of him to Chanyeol, not until he is ready to share everything with him. Chanyeol chose to never mention it to Junmyeon either for the same reason, not until he’s ready. They built their relationship solely based on trust. They understand each other without the need for words. Junmyeon understands when Chanyeol is feeling nervous around other senior and elite members of the movie industry and makes sure to check on him at parties. Chanyeol understands when Junmyeon is surrounded by strangers and when he is struggling to keep up with the conversation and to keep up the celebrity persona. He smiles at Junmyeon, mouthing ‘it’s gonna be okay’ to him from a distance or just going to him pretending it’s something related to the shoot or the PR work and holds Junmyeon’s hand for a brief moment until he is assured that Junmyeon is okay.

It’s at one of those pre-release events that Chanyeol holds Junmyeon’s hand and smiles at him, flashing his pearly whites. Junmyeon evidently looks genuinely happy too, unaware of the press and the cameras. 

The next day is Junmyeon’s off day and he plans to wake up late, have some brunch, water the plants and may be read a book or watch a sappy movie. But his manager calls him at 6 AM. Junmyeon reluctantly picks up the phone and says a sleepy ‘hello’. He wonders what’s so important that his manager called him this early on his off day. Mr. Yoo sounds worried.

“Junmyeon….uh…I don’t know how to say this…uh…something came up…in the news. It’s all over the entertainment pages and on social media…”

Junmyeon is fully awake now. He pictures a thousand worst case scenarios in his head. What might have happened? His parents? Did they say something about him to the press? Or did everyone came to know about his college days and Kyungsoo? Or did everyone know he has anxiety disorder? Did his therapist say something? No, she shouldn’t and she won’t. What could it be then?!

“Junmyeon…junmyeon…are you there?” 

“Yes, yes I—I’m here. What is this about?”

Junmyeon clutches his heart, bracing for the worst.

“It’s..it’s about you and Chanyeol.”

Weirdly enough, he breathes a huge sigh of relief. Chanyeol. He smiles at the thought.

“What about me and Chanyeol?” The manager could hear a relief and smile in Junmyeon’s voice.

“Well, you sound like you aren’t worried, so I’m actually glad. There is a photo circulating of Chanyeol holding your hand at the pre-release event and both of you smiling. So, uh..there are rumors that you guys might be dating.”

Junmyeon laughs. “Seriously?”

“Yes, I’ll send the links to you. Let’s discuss later on what the agency’s response should be or if we should even respond to these or not. Take care, Junmyeon! And call me whenever you need me” He hangs up. He obviously is receiving a deluge of phone calls right now.

Junmyeon’s phone buzzes with multiple links sent by manager Yoo from various newspaper articles. He opens the first one.

Scandal-less superstar in a dating scandal? Kim Junmyeon found holding hands with a young male staff member.

He scoffs. ‘Young’ staff member? What am I? 65? The article has a huge photo of Chanyeol holding Junmyeon’s hand and looking into his eyes, smiling so lovingly. It has the side view of Junmyeon, looking up at Chanyeol and returning the smile. From a third person’s view, it really looked like they are in love. 

Love. Junmyeon felt that only once in his life. With Kyungsoo. That turned out to be an ill-fated relationship built on need, anxiety and loneliness. But with Chanyeol, this feels different. He can be himself. This is unlike any love Junmyeon has ever experienced. This relationship is built on trust and respect and mutual admiration. But love…that scares him. Is he even worthy of having someone that loves him no matter what?

But no matter what, he doesn’t want Chanyeol suffering or taking the bullet because of him. He quickly calls his manager and tells him not to call Chanyeol for any explanation or any kind of statement on this matter and that if needed, he will handle all those. Mr .Yoo now asks.

“So Junmyeon, don't mind me asking this but…are those rumors true?”

“Of course not Mr. Yoo! That was just a casual conversation we were having in that photo. If these are true, I assure you that I’m not the one to hide and you would be the first one to know.” Junmyeon slightly regrets denying them outright.

“Thank you Junmyeon! I really appreciate you being honest with me.”

****  
Chanyeol wakes up from a nap to a call from Baekhyun. Ugh finally! It felt like ages since he last spoke to Baekhyun. Ever since he joined Junmyeon’s team, they didn’t have the time to meet up like they used to before. It’s just the occasional how are you doing texts.

“Hello Baek, what’s up?”

“YOU tell me! You are all over the entertainment news and social media…Yeol, what’s going on? Is it true? Should I be worried?”

“Wait, slow down! I’m WHAT? And what is true?”

“You don’t know? It came out this morning….google your name and I’m coming there to your apartment.” He hangs up before Chanyeol even has a chance to say anything. Chanyeol googles the news and shocked, he slumps onto a chair. Of course he was aware that the press were attending the event. He couldn’t believe he was so reckless, so caught up with making sure that Junmyeon’s okay, that he jeopardized the career of the very person he is making sure is okay. What an irony! He is disappointed with himself, scared and confused. This is all new to him. Now everyone will know who he is. What if they think of him as a gold digger? This is not what he wanted to be known as. 

What does one do in this case? Should he call Junmyeon? No, he isn’t ready to do that yet. What would he say? That he likes Junmyeon but not in that way? But he can’t lie. He loves Junmyeon. Yes. Love. But he doesn’t ever expect Junmyeon to feel the same for him. That would be too selfish. 

His phone rings and Chanyeol is startled. It’s his mother. Obviously they might have known the news by now. No, he cannot see his parents worried like this. Maybe all those gossipmongers in their hometown are pestering Chanyeol’s parents about the news. Just when he thought he’s looking after them and making them happy by suggesting his father should retire and sending money back home - this happened. Nervously, he swipes the phone to answer the call.

“H-hello mom…”

“Chanyeollie…what is this news about? Are you doing okay son?” His mom sounds worried. 

“I- I don’t know if I’m okay mom, this is all new to me. But, but I can assure you that those are baseless rumors. We were just casually joking about something and laughing and that picture was taken then, everything else was just blown out of proportion.” He just blabbers whatever he reads frequently about celebrities denying dating rumors.

“Ah I see…okay. Please take care son, your father and I are worried about you. Are you eating on time? And move to a new apartment, I heard that there will be news people all around people’s apartments when these rumors come out, please stay safe Chanyeollie! Live with Baekhyun for a while if that’s okay.”

His mother brings up a good point. He just moves the curtain and peeks out the window. Downstairs, there are a few reporters and cameramen waiting. 

“Y-Yes mom I’m eating well and on time. I’ll try to move too …I have something to do now, I’ll call later, bye!” He hangs up. He is really scared now. Media around his apartment? This is insane. He frantically paces around his tiny apartment and Baekhyun texts him. “Open the door”

Chanyeol is a little relieved now that Baekhyun is with him. 

“Jesus, these fuckers! There is press all around this building. I came through the garage elevator at the back.”

“This is crazy! I’m losing my mind. My parents are worried and I’m worried about Junmyeon too. What might he be feeling? This is all because of my recklessness.” He punches the bean bag.

Baekhyun doesn’t know what to do and what to say to calm Chanyeol down. He has never seen Chanyeol like this before. Sad. Agitated. He almost wanted to say to quit the job. But Chanyeol loves his work. 

“Relax, Yeol. People and the press always go batshit like this whenever there is a rumor about A-list celebrities but on the bright side, they forget about it after a week. Just…just try to be a little cool please”  
He gives some water to Chanyeol, who gulps it all in one go. 

“I guess- I guess you’re right Baek. But still, I’m not the one who will be affected by it the most. It’s Junmyeon. People will keep bombarding him with questions about this thing from now on. I just feel guilty that’s it. I don't give a rat’s ass about what people and press think.”

“Yes. Sorry to say this Yeol, but are you really happy working there? I know you love that work but are they treating you well? Junmyeon…I…I mean is he really worth all this? You feeling guilty and all?” Baekhyun couldn’t believe the words that just came out of his mouth.

“He is.” The answer comes out almost immediately.

“He is really worth everything. You…you don’t know him Baek. He is everything a good human should be. He has a kind heart and he chooses his words carefully so as not to hurt others, even though the other person is condescending or demeaning to him. I saw this many times in interviews and on set where people deliberately try to provoke him, comparing him with other actors. I just think that I want to be a better person whenever I’m with him. I like myself when I’m with him. He understands me without me even having to say anything. But if me being with him is just too burdensome for him…” he points to the apartment window, signaling that he is talking about the press fiasco. “…then I can quit. But I cannot say that I will be happy elsewhere. He matters to me Baek. So much.”

Baekhyun never experienced what loving someone feels like but he just witnessed his best friend being in love. It was just too heart warming to say anything else. He gently pats Chanyeol’s back and offers to make some ramen and dumplings for them both. He just hopes that Junmyeon feels the same about Chanyeol because he absolutely cannot see him heart broken. 

Just then, Chanyeol gets four texts from Junmyeon. 

I’m so sorry Chanyeol. Are you okay?  
I want to talk to you.  
I kinda miss you :(  
Can we meet anywhere the reporters cannot come?

His heart flutters. He ignores the rest of the message. The only thing he could think of is ‘I kinda miss you’. Junmyeon misses him. Chanyeol misses him too, although they saw each other only two days ago. Warmth fills his body and his ears and cheeks turn red. He smiles like an idiot looking at his phone.

“Here, ramen is ready.” Baekhyun offers him a plate but Chanyeol is too busy smiling.  
“Whoa! What happened? Weren’t you like all upset minutes ago?” Baekhyun asks with a mouthful of ramen. “Text from the tiny man?”

“Tiny man” Chanyeol laughs and takes his ramen bowl.

“Well isn’t that true? He IS tiny. Looks small to me.” Baekhyun finished half of his ramen already.

“He is your height Baek. Well, almost!” Chanyeol chews his food, taking in the spicy flavors, relaxing.

“No way! He seemed smaller.”

“No he is not. I mean, when I hugged him he was almost here….” Chanyeol points to just above his chest and quickly realizes that he gave away too much information. 

Baekhyun raises his eyebrows. And smiles.

“Okay….and?” He teases Chanyeol, who is clearly blushing now.

“And what? Nothing. Oh I need to meet him within an hour or so. I’m thinking that park along the highway next to this apartment would be okay? It’s pretty dark now so we shouldn’t be visible. What do you say?” 

“Good thing that he wanted to talk. Yeah that park is pretty dark always in the evenings. I will drop you there, just wear a hoodie or something while you sit in the car. I can call my dad’s driver on the way back so you can keep the car for a few days if you need it.”

“Thanks Baek”, Chanyeol beams. He texts Junmyeon the location of the park.

****

Baekhyun drops off Chanyeol and leaves in his dad’s car. Chanyeol waits in the car and after about 10 minutes, he sees Junmyeon’s car. He is driving by himself and parks the car in front of Chanyeol’s. He texts Chanyeol to come get in his car. When Chanyeol does, Junmyeon greets him with the brightest of smiles, contrary to what Chanyeol assumed the situation would be like. 

“How are you?” He asks Chanyeol.

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me. How are YOU? I was so worried.” Chanyeol face is etched with concern.

“Surprisingly, I’m doing just fine. I didn't expect that I would handle this situation like this. I mean, even Manager Yoo is surprised! The only thing that bugs me are the interviews and promos for my next movie, which would be full of questions about us, rather than about the movie or actors or storyline. I feel bad about that. I don’t want to be the reason that takes away the focus from the hardworking team behind the movie.” He looks down at his hands on the steering wheel.

Chanyeol zoned out after he hears ‘us’ about them both, from Junmyeon. Us. Sounds so special, so affectionate.

“Hey, are you with me?”, Junmyeon waves his hand in front of Chanyeol’s face who is clearly embarrassed now. “I should thank you Chanyeol”, Junmyeon smiles.

“Thank me? Why? I did nothing but bring you this headache. You should be pushing me away instead.” Even as he says those words, it stings in his heart. Thinking about it, they have gotten so dependent and close to each other, that it felt like Chanyeol couldn’t breathe if Junmyeon really pushed him away.

Junmyeon slowly takes Chanyeol’s big hands in his. His tiny hands could barely cover them. Chanyeol thinks that it is adorable. 

“No Chanyeol. You have no idea. From the moment you came into my life, the only thing you did was to make me happy. Make me feel worthy and not like I’m a burden to everyone.” He winces slightly, as if in pain. Chanyeol instinctively wraps his hands over Junmyeon’s. “You are there by my side whenever I needed someone. You have no idea how much that means to me and how much that changed me for the better.”

Chanyeol manages a smile amidst the tears blurring his view. He wipes his eyes on his shoulders and gently takes their hands wrapped together and places a tiny, shy kiss on Junmyeon’s fingers. 

Goosebumps. All Junmyeon could feel, were goosebumps. Blood rushes to his cheeks and ears which turn pinkish red. He likes to feel this way, he wants to feel this way but, Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo is always at the back of his head. Unknowingly, he slowly releases his hands from Chanyeol’s grip. Chanyeol is a little hurt but concerned more.

“I’m sorry….did I make you uncomfortable?” 

“No no not at all. It’s just….Chanyeol I want to talk to you. About my past. About Kyungsoo. Because if I don’t talk now, I probably would never be able to do so. You deserve to know this and it’s only fair that a sweetheart like you, know everything about me, good and bad, before we….you know…fall deeply into…whatever this is.” Love. He is scared to even say love.

“Look Junmyeon, I don’t want to know anything you are not yet ready to share about. Please do not feel obligated to tell me anything. I…I like you as you are. You can tell me everything, but only if you are ready.” He squeezes Junmyeon’s thigh.

“I..I guess I AM ready”, Junmyeon doesn't return Chanyeol’s eyes.

“I was born into a really well-off family of attorneys. Both my parents are lawyers and they own a law firm in which they have a major partnership. Before even I was born, they have decided that I HAVE to be an attorney and take over the firm eventually. And I was born a few years later and they tried so hard from my childhood to get me into law. You know, explaining to me about the constitution and the amendments, playing court and judge games with me and all. But there I was, a huge disappointment to them, interested only in arts and theatre. I could feel even when I was 6 years old, that they were embarrassed with my interests. When we were at these elite parties, people would brag about how their children are interested in studying medicine, engineering and law. My mother’s grip on my hand grew tighter and tighter as they used to talk about their kids. I was so scared to even tell her that it hurt.” Junmyeon closes his eyes and wraps his arms around himself, like he was reliving that memory.

Chanyeol waits. He doesn’t want to budge in. He wants Junmyeon to say whatever he wants to.

“College was a nightmare. I knew I liked boys and I knew it wasn’t just a phase. But I couldn’t let my parents down. I was already feeling guilty of taking away their happiness by being the biggest disappointment and not pursuing law. I tried so…so hard to fit in.” Junmyeon chokes and his voice breaks. He turns to Chanyeol. “I really tried a lot Chanyeol, to fit in.” He sobs and Chanyeol pulls him gently into his arms. Chanyeol is breaking down too but in this moment, he wants to be strong for Junmyeon. 

“It’s okay if you don’t wanna continue…”, Chanyeol murmurs and gently pats Junmyeon’s back, soothing him. “No, I want to. If not now, never.” Junmyeon mumbles into Chanyeol’s shoulder. He placates himself and goes back to telling his story.

“But college was also the best time in my time because…because I met Kyungsoo during college. It was kind of a boarding school.” Junmyeon says the name Kyungsoo as if it is a precious word and any mispronunciation of a single syllable would be a blasphemy. Chanyeol sits up straight in the passenger seat. He is nervous and he doesn’t know why.

“Kyungsoo was this adorable little man, he would kill me if I say little man. He would argue that we were the same height.” Junmyeon chuckles but the smile turns sad almost immediately. “We met during these hobby club sessions during college. We were both interested in theater arts. His family is from a village nearby and both his parents were into arts. They regularly organize and do plays in their village, so acting is really in his genes. Still, he is my acting role model and an inspiration. The way he goes into the character and make you feel everything the character feels, he is truly a gem, a gift.” Chanyeol notices that Junmyeon talks about Kyungsoo in kind of like a past tense. That scares him.

“He had a way of cheering me up whenever I came back from holiday breaks. I used to dread going to my parents’ house for Chuseok. There was a deluge of questions from them asking about my grades, my education, what kind of people I was friends with, if I had any girlfriends and all that. It was so tiring being there but the only good thing about those gatherings was my grandma. My dear grandma. She taught me everything about gardening and life too. I miss her so much sometimes…she was my strength.” Junmyeon closes his eyes for a couple of seconds.

“I’m so sorry Junmyeon…” Chanyeol gently rubs Junmyeon’s knuckles in tiny circles. Junmyeon holds onto Chanyeol’s thumb.

“It’s okay… Well, yeah Kyungsoo. We used to go to this park near our college and take long walks at nights…we used to sneak out” Junmyeon winks and Chanyeol’s heart skips a beat. “Wow it seems like it was a lifetime ago. We used to play and rehearse our parts in the plays in the parks. Kyungsoo was a natural. He remembered his dialogues so well and I used to forget them a lot. He prompted many of my lines to me, even in actual plays! I don’t have Kyungsoo with me now so I made it a habit to take the script and scenes for the next day home with me, so I don’t forget my dialogues. Kyungsoo would have loved it…” Junmyeon takes deep breaths. 

“He was my best friend, my confidant and my…my first love.” Junmyeon slowly looks at Chanyeol, whose expression he couldn't decipher. Chanyeol looks at Junmyeon, nods indicating Junmyeon to go on and holds his hand tighter. 

“It was during one of those long walks at the park that we held hands for the first time. I felt like I was invincible and I have everything good in the world with me, when in fact I just had Kyungsoo beside me. I felt so happy and so confident. We were both happy until…until my parents found out about us.”

“What? How?” Chanyeol asks.

“The school’s principal is a very close friend of my dad’s. Apparently some students saw us together in the park and took it to the principal. Anyway, my father came to the school and made a huge ruckus out of it. He yelled at the principal and the staff blaming them for their negligence and incompetence in dealing with the students. And then he did the thing I dreaded. He told the principal that I would no longer be a part of that school and he was taking me home to Seoul. I was devastated. I wanted to see Kyungsoo before I left so we met in my dorm room. I was in tears, unable to let go and stay away from him but Kyungsoo…” Junmyeon is now shaking and Chanyeol is holding him by the shoulders tenderly.“Kyungsoo assured me that everything would be alright eventually and we could be together once we finish high school and that he would call whenever he can. He hugged me so tightly, not wanting to let go almost on the verge of tears. He was always the stronger one.”

“I never thought that kind of a situation would arise and so I didn’t know how to react or what to do. There was no time to think. With Kyungsoo, I always felt so happy and content that I never one thought about a ‘what-if-everything-goes-wrong’ situation. And that was exactly what happened and I blame myself for allowing myself to be that happy and blinded to the reality.” He looks like he is running out of breath now. Chanyeol grabs the water bottle and hands it over to Junmyeon, who sips a little and then more. 

“Then…then how did you finish school?”, Chanyeol asks, concerned.

“I was homeschooled. I was grounded for the rest of my school life. Tutors used to come to our home each day but they didn’t know that I was living a nightmare. I missed the theatre art sessions at college. My parents were so disgusted with me. Dad stopped talking to me and my mom cried and made a scene. I was looked down upon and belittled for my sexuality. I knew my parents weren't the best people but they were still…my parents. It hurt a lot hearing all those demeaning and demoralizing comments from them. Eventually I got used to it. The only calm in all this chaos are Kyungsoo’s phone calls. I wasn’t allowed to have a cell phone with me so he called the home phone at a particular time when mom and dad were out for work. He kept reassuring me that he would meet eventually and everything would be fine…but he was lying.” Junmyeon turns to look at Chanyeol who was unable to figure out what he meant.

“Why..what happened then? Is he okay now Junmyeon?”, Chanyeol asks.

Junmyeon turns away and looks out of the window into the pitch black darkness of the park. He looked so distant. “I did not know that my parents were checking the call records for the home phone as well. They found out that it was from Kyungsoo. One day, my mom called Kyungsoo with me present there. She warned him to stay away from me and to leave her son and her family alone. Kyungsoo was so respectful even when she was mocking the fact that he was from a village and that they weren’t wealthy. She said that he was with Junmyeon for his money and it is impossible for them to even think that a person of Kyungsoo’s background would be welcome in their family. Kyungsoo practically pleaded her not to make him drop out of college because it was so important for his parents. He asked her if he could meet her and talk, so they can clear out the misunderstandings. But my mom was adamant and threatening to him. She finally agreed to meet him in the garage of our home and instructed specifically to enter via the back door. I was silent the whole time. I hate myself for it. I was in such a terrible place mentally that I couldn’t stand up for anything else. That was the last time I ever heard his voice.”  
Chanyeol is in shock. He holds Junmyeon’s hand so tight that his knuckles turn red.

“He…He was so desperate to see me and talk to my mom. He was so worried about me. He had this motorcycle he bought with the money he saved which was so dear to him. And on the way to my family home…there was….” Deep breaths. “An accident….a fatal accident…Kyungsoo was struck by a truck and he…he left me Chanyeol. He really…really left me… forever. The only light left my life. All because…I wasn’t strong enough to stand up to my parents. I was silent and it cost my poor kyungsoo his life. I’m a terrible terrible person I don’t deserve anything at all. It just kills me when I think of his hard working parents with lots of hopes and dreams about their son.” Junmyeon is sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. Chanyeol is crying too but he pulls Junmyeon into a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry…so sorry Junmyeon that you had to go through this horrible time in your life. Please do not blame yourself for any of this. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault…” He repeats that so many times until he is sure that Junmyeon listens to him. “It must be so hard for you dealing with all this alone and not letting yourself show any of it in public. You are so strong Junmyeon, so brave and so precious.”

The next morning, newspapers and the entertainment news were filled with curiosity and questions about Chanyeol. Who is this guy that managed to sweep the most eligible and handsome bachelor of the movie industry, off his feet? 

Chanyeol smiles looking at the headlines. He did not get any sleep last night since he spent much of the night with Junmyeon and then they spoke for hours over the phone after Junmyeon left from the park.

“You know, media and attention has a way of getting to you. It just disturbs your day and mental peace. I’m so sorry to get you caught up in all this but do not take anything they write to heart. It’s just a bunch of garbage.” Junmyeon reassured him last night when in fact after all that he heard last night, it was Junmyeon who needed reassurance. 

“Hey Junmyeon…”, Chanyeol says that in his low, deep voice and he could hear Junmyeon chuckling on the other end of the phone.  
“What is it?”, Chanyeol wonders.

“No it is…it’s your voice. I really really like your deep voice. It’s…sexy”

Chanyeol eyes widen and he puts his hand over his mouth to stop himself from screaming loud. SEXY. 

“Well, wish you are here with me now to see my ears and cheeks turning red.”

“Oh how I wish I was there lying by your side…”, Junmyeon says teasingly and Chanyeol’s entire body turns so hot. He feels like he’s on fire.

“I- I didn’t mean lying…”

“Ah okay, you never mean anything Chanyeol …you just imply”

“Do I? Did I imply anything?”

“You kinda implied that you really like me so much, not just as a friend.” Junmyeon chews on his lower lip saying this, lying down on his back, closing his eyes.

“Oh I thought I made it perfectly clear !! Did I just imply it?” Now Chanyeol teases him.

“Chanyeol I…listen I feel the same but it's been years with Kyungsoo and I have pretty much kept to myself all these years. It’s a little hard for me to be open with my feelings or expressing them in a way that you could feel and understand them. Every time I allow myself to be happy or feel close to you, I can’t help but feel guilty for what happened with Kyungsoo. It feels a lot better now that I told you everything. You mean so much to me and I wish I was as good with words as you are. I envy you for that.”

“I understand that Junmyeon. You don’t have to feel bad or sorry for that. You don’t even have to say that. I understand you. Take all the time in the world. I will wait for you, no matter how long it takes. It’s a promise, I’ll be there for you whatever you decide.” Tiny little tears form at the corner of Chanyeol’s eye and Junmyeon just hugs himself and curls into a tiny ball, imagining himself feeling safe and secure in Chanyeol’s arms. Sleep consumes him instantly and Chanyeol doesn’t end the call but keeps listening to Junmyeon’s little snores.

****

Weeks pass by with Junmyeon dealing with all the questions about his relationship with Chanyeol. Wherever he went, movie premiers, press meets or reality shows, the first and the only question people were curious about was Chanyeol. Junmyeon did his best to avoid those but it just seemed impossible. He was cautious enough to word his answers in a way that doesn’t give in anything about their relationship and the same time doesn’t feel like he was evading the question. It was stressful but Junmyeon felt quite adventurous doing it. For an actor with a clean, scandal-free career, dealing with the deluge of questions like these might seem intimidating but Junmyeon did so well in all the shows, as per his media and PR team.

Chanyeol on the other hand was advised by Junmyeon’s manager Yoo, to keep low and quiet until this fiasco dies down. He wasn’t allowed to stay or spend time alone with Junmyeon for photo sessions and he was not allowed to visit Junmyeon’s home for work or meet him outside alone at work, for the fear of paparazzi. Chanyeol complies. He only works with the PR team members and never alone with Junmyeon. He was more worried about Junmyeon’s career and reputation than his own. It is not everyday that you hear news like this about a top star and the fact that he might be homosexual. Junmyeon’s ardent fans supported him completely on social media but there were quite a few who weren’t happy that he is gay and that he might be in a relationship with a no-name amateur photographer. 

Chanyeol made all his social media accounts private as soon as the news broke out but it was still too late. So he deactivated all his accounts, feeling safe in the fact that he could not see any hatred for him, although he feels it. Each day when he walks in at work, he gets angry, resentful glances from his own team and from the camera crew and film’s crew. The producers for Junmyeon’s upcoming films are worried that Chanyeol is responsible for the entire attention being diverted from the film’s promotions to Junmyeon’s personal life. And to be fair, their concerns seemed valid to Chanyeol. After all, they invested a lot of money into the making of the film. One day they take their concerns to the CEO of the entertainment company Junmyeon belongs to. And Chanyeol is called into his chambers. Manager Yoo notices Chanyeol going inside the CEO’s room, looking like he is scared witless.

Chanyeol is nervous, terrified to be honest. He doesn’t want to lose the job. You don’t get called into the CEO’s office unless it’s something very serious. Since Junmyeon is the top star among all the celebrities that the agency manages, this issue seemed to have taken quite a toll on the company. And to their dismay, Junmyeon never outright denied that he is in a relationship, he was just carefully wording his answers. The office is one of the biggest workspaces Chanyeol has ever seen. It has a computer desk and chair and two large meeting tables to hold conferences and two leather sofa sets for rather informal talks.

The CEO is Mr. Lee Seung Hyun, a man in his forties. He is almost as tall as Chanyeol, looking extremely well dressed and proper, athletic build, slick dark hair brushed back and he looked quite intimidating. Chanyeol was dressed casually like any day at work. Little did he expect that he would be going to talk to the CEO that day.

“Hello Mr. Park Chanyeol. Welcome, come take a seat. Do you want a coffee, or a tea or some juice?”

Chanyeol sits in the chair facing Mr. Lee. “Just water is fine, thank you sir.” Mr. Lee then presses a button and tells his secretary to being some water for Chanyeol and some tea for him. The water and the tea arrives almost immediately.

“Well Chanyeol, I heard quite a lot about you. Good things. I was inquiring about you when the news broke out and my team kept me updated about you. Looks like, you joined here recently and already proved yourself to be a talented photographer with the PR team and your managers. Impressive!”

Chanyeol was not expecting the conversation to start like that but he was thankful that it did. “I tried my best, thank you sir.”

“Tell me more about your background, Chanyeol. How come you met Junmyeon?” That sounded a bit harsh. Mr. Lee’s tone implied that it would be impossible that someone like Chanyeol could even meet a star like Junmyeon. Chanyeol still tries to be polite.

“I first met him at an event sir, the charity event with all the film producers and actors at The Heritage Hotel.”

“Ah that one. Okay. Don’t mind me asking, but what does your parents do?”

“They own a restaurant in our hometown sir. It’s pretty popular over there.”

The smile disappears on Mr.Lee’s face. He gets rather serious now. 

“Look Chanyeol. Let me be direct about this. Although we never had any clauses in our contracts with the actors that bans any dating or relationships, there is a reason why none of them gets involved in scandals like that.” He sips his tea. “It’s because it affects their careers. Everything that they worked for. And everything the company strives to achieve.”

Chanyeol listens but doesn’t say anything back.

“I never expected that Junmyeon of all people would be caught in this…mess.” MESS. Chanyeol is hurt by that word. This is all it was to them. An unwanted, irritating mess. “He just minds his business, you know. It would take someone really smart to get him into this.” He means someone really sly, Chanyeol thinks.

“Respectfully sir, I think Junmyeon is smart and capable enough to think for himself and make his own decisions.” Chanyeol says that looking straight into Mr.Lee’s eyes. Mr.Lee is now visibly trying hard to control his anger. His fists are rounded and he is half smiling. He is clearly not used to people defying him. 

“That’s it Chanyeol. That’s all I wanted to ask. You may leave now.” He doesn’t even look again at Chanyeol when he bows and leaves the room. Chanyeol lets out a deep sigh and then finds a water faucet nearby and gulps a mouthful of water. He is now pretty damn sure that he just lost his job. He doesn’t want Junmyeon to know any of this because he would clearly be sad when he learns that Chanyeol is talked down upon by the CEO.

It’s 6 PM already. He checks his phone and there were 3 missed calls and a text from Junmyeon. The text says  
Can we meet at the park again tonight? I will be there at 7

****  
Junmyeon is already waiting in his car at the park when Chanyeol arrived. He quickly looks around and then sits in the passenger seat. Somehow seeing Junmyeon on this stressful and shitty day made Chanyeol so relieved.

“Hey”, Chanyeol smiles but his eyes still look sad. He quickly pulls Junmyeon into a hug. “You must have had a hard day with the press and media pestering you…”, he says still holding onto Junmyeon. Junmyeon pulls back a little and cups Chanyeol’s face.

“Look at me Chanyeollie”, the endearment makes Chanyeol’s heart flutter. 

“I know that Mr.Lee called you into his room today. I know he rarely does that and he is a jerk. Now tell me what happened in there.” Junmyeon quietly demands.

“Wait, how do you…ah manager Yoo! I should have guessed” Chanyeol shakes his head.

“So were you planning not to tell me about this ever?”, Junmyeon’s eyes are round and large now.

“Yeah…yeah kind of. Not like ever but definitely not today. I didn’t want to add to your worries.” Chanyeol pouts.  
“Chanyeol please…you need to tell me everything. We need to tell each other everything. Isn’t that what people in a relationship do?”

Chanyeol chuckles and then he laughs loudly. “So is that why you are wording your answers like a jigsaw puzzle when the media asks you about us? I have to admit your answers are clever.”

“Stop teasing me Chanyeol!! I’m just answering your question from yesterday. I thought about it and…I don’t think I was ever this happy after Kyungsoo and I never liked anyone as much as I like you. You make me want to feel things…like I want to take long walks with you at the beach, I want to eat out with you at food carts and also fine dining restaurants, I want to make you smile, I want to get closer with you and I want to be the person who you can lean on and trust for life. So yes, I like you more than just as a friend and I’m ready to be in a relationship with you.” 

Chanyeol is now incredulous. He cannot believe that this is actually, really, truly happening. His mind goes into a rapid flashback of him adoring Junmyeon as a star to that fateful day at the hotel where he first met him and had food with him to him joining in Junmyeon’s team to them meeting in the vanity and to the past few weeks where they have gotten so emotionally close. Junmyeon shakes him to make sure that he is still in this world.

Chanyeol starts crying. “Junmyeon…I…thank you, thank you so much for everything, I…” Junmyeon goes a little closer to Chanyeol’s face and plants a tiny soft kiss on his chin. He then wipes Chanyeol’s tears.

“Junmyeon…I..I LOVE you, I truly truly LOVE you” 

Junmyeon doesn’t say anything but kisses him softly on the lower lip. He smiles and then grazes his lips along Chanyeol’s and then kisses his upper lip. Chanyeol opens his mouth making the kiss a little wetter and much hotter. Junmyeon hesitates at first but then feels ecstatic when Chanyeol peppers tiny wet kisses along his jaw line and nose. Junmyeon lets out a small short groan of pleasure. Chanyeol proceeds to kiss Junmyeon’s neck and stays there for what Junmyeon thinks is like an eternity. He slowly runs his tongue along Junmyeon’s throat, savoring and sucking every bit of the skin there. He teases the sensitive parts of his neck with his teeth. Junmyeon groans again and holds Chanyeol’s shirt tighter.

Chanyeol then goes back again to Junmyeon’s mouth but this time he goes all in with the kiss. He licks Junmyeon’s teeth and on Junmyeon’s tiny lower lip. Their tongues collide and dance and then Junmyeon bites Chanyeol’s lower lip. They both gasp and separate for oxygen.

Junmyeon wipes his mouth with his hand. “That was…mind-blowing”, he laughs.  
Chanyeol does too. “I wasn’t planning to go all feral on you but it’s your fault! Why are you so beautiful?”

“Shut up Chanyeol! Now eat something other than my face. I brought you some amazing dumplings made by Mrs.Han.

****

Although Junmyeon told Chanyeol that they need to tell each everything, he hid one thing from Chanyeol. Mr.Lee is a very close personal friend of Junmyeon’s father and it doesn’t take long for him to figure out that his parents urged him to talk to Chanyeol demeaningly and report back everything to them. Junmyeon cut most of the contact with his parents soon after Kyungsoo but they found a way to meddle with his life always. 

Not anymore, thinks Junmyeon. He would not let anyone or anything jeopardize his relationship with Chanyeol. He swore to himself that he wouldn’t make the same mistake again. He gathers all his courage and proceeds to his parents’ home. It looks so quiet and peaceful from the outside but he reminds himself of all the nightmares he faced inside.

He presses the doorbell and Junmyeon’s mom's voice has a note of shock in it when she realizes its Junmyeon. She presses the button to open the gate and let him in.

“Oh what a surprise! The scandalous star is here.”, his father says as expected. Junmyeon pretends he didn’t hear that and doesn’t even look at his father. He looks straight into his mother’s eyes.

“Did you ask Mr.Lee to talk to Chanyeol?”

“Why ask when you already assume we did?” She says in a mocking tone.

“I’m not assuming anything. I just asked a question, please just say yes or no.” His mother is quite surprised to see Junmyeon so blunt and to the point.

“Yes we did, so what?”

He is not strong enough to continue this conversation. He doesn’t want to break down mid conversation and appear like the same, weak Junmyeon his parents knew and thought of. He thinks of Chanyeol. He cannot even think of the possibility of losing Chanyeol. He closes his eyes and thinks of Chanyeol admiring him, looking up to him and always saying that Junmyeon is his hero, his role model.  
HERO. Those words echo in his head. You are my hero.

“Did you ever, at least once feel like you did wrong with K-Kyungsoo?” Now his father is paying attention. 

“And why should I? You think we planned and caused that accident? BULLSHIT.” His father yells.

“Remember that we are well respected attorneys and not some thugs or mafia lords to order murders and accidents.” His mom is in rage.

“And why was he even on the road in the first place? It is because YOU” he points his index finger towards his mother. “called him names, talked to him in a derogatory manner even when he was extremely polite and then caused him to come here. Is that not why he was driving in such a hurry?” Junmyeon eyes are red and watery with anger and resentment and disappointment.

“Is it like a butterfly effect or something? Nonsense.” It is now clear that his parents doesn’t even feel sorry for an innocent person dying because of their actions. They don’t feel responsible for having caused the death of a son for Kyungsoo’s parents. It just feels useless to talk to them.

“I didn’t expect anything from you people but you still manage to disappoint me like always. I don’t care what you do or who you talk to but if you get involved with my life or Chanyeol, especially Chanyeol’s life again, I swear you’ll repent it and the consequences would be unimaginable for you. I’m not scared of losing my career or status, I just want Chanyeol to be in my life and I will tolerate nothing that even remotely tries to jeopardize our relationship. I love him.” He is surprised that he actually said that. “Also I want nothing to do with you both from now on. Don’t expect me to visit you for Chuseok.”

“It is you who are a monumental disappointment for us.” His father mumbles. “Don’t expect any of the inheritance money then.” He adds, dismissively.

Junmyeon chuckles. “Just in case you forgot, I have been a A-list celebrity for a few years now and I’m richer than you. And no, I’m not interested in money at all.” He turns around and leaves without looking back. He makes it to the front gate where he lets out a deep sigh, bending over and putting his hands on his knees. He did it.

Excitement. Elation. Ecstasy. He doesn’t know how to name what he is feeling now. He felt free for the first time in his life. He presses his foot on the accelerator, plays music in a loud volume in his car and texts Chanyeol to meet him that night again to share this with him.

****

He waits for Chanyeol’s reply for the text but he doesn’t get any. He waits at the park for almost an hour before deciding to just visit Chanyeol’s apartment. It’s risky but he doesn’t care anymore. He wants to call Baekhyun and ask him if he knew where Chanyeol is but he doesn’t have Baekhyun’s number. He heard so much about Baekhyun from Chanyeol that he now feels like he personally knows Baekhyun.

Junmyeon has several thoughts in his head but the scariest one is if his parents already contacted or threatened Chanyeol or since his confrontation they might have gotten madder and….no, he doesn’t want to go there. 

Luckily, there aren’t any reporters or paparazzi visible outside Chanyeol’s apartment. He slowly turns his car towards the parking garage but then he sees another fancy car approaching the garage. Through the window, he notices that it is Baekhyun and breathes a sigh of relief. They park in the garage and Baekhyun gets out first and waits for Junmyeon. 

“Hello! quite surprised to see you here! Did you look for paps? They hide in the bushes sometimes.” Baekhyun extends his hand for a handshake and Junmyeon returns it. He seems to have a casual coolness and a natural happiness in him. It’s contagious. Junmyeon smiles involuntarily when Baekhyun talks. This must be why Chanyeol is always around this man.

“This idiot isn't answering my calls. So I just came here to see if he’s alright”, Baekhyun says.

“Oh! He isn’t answering mine either. I was waiting for him at the park for an hour but he didn't show up soI was worried.” Junmyeon is trying not to think about the worst but he has been through hell in his life before and can't help but be paranoid now.

“Hey! Don’t worry he’ll be fine!”Baekhyun must have noticed Junmyeon’s concern and he pats him on the shoulder. “Let’s go up and check on him.” Junmyeon follows Baekhyun to the elevator in the garage.  
They go to the 4th floor and knock the door of Chanyeol’s apartment. No response.

Baekhyun yells, “Yeol! Open up, Junmyeon is here!” No response. “This is weird! He usually gets very attentive when he hears your name” Junmyeon chuckles. He thens bangs the door harder. A tiny little creaking sound from the inside. Then Chanyeol opens the door slowly. Junmyeon sighs with relief and Baekhyun gasps in horror.

Chanyeol was sleeping. No, he was in a deep sleep, almost like a coma. His hair is disheveled, eyes and face are puffy. He barely could stand near the door and slumps back onto the bed. “You were SLEEPING?! Do you know how worried we were? Wake up!!!” Baekhyun yells in Chanyeol’s ear, pulling him to sit up on the bed.

Junmyeon looks around the apartment with curiosity. It is small and cute. It has pictures of Chanyeol’s cute little childhood pictures with his pet ferret and a puppy, a picture with his parents in his hometown, a pictures with his high school friends, a picture with Baekhyun. Junmyeon hoped we could be there some day. He then notices a stack of magazines and photos of Junmyeon on Chanyeol’s work desk. He feels proud. Chanyeol goes to the restroom to wash up and then Baekhyun and Chanyeol were talking something when Baekhyun said he was busy and needed to leave. But he winks at Chanyeol which means he is just giving some time alone for Junmyeon and Chanyeol.

“Bye Junmyeon! Nice to have finally met you.” He quickly leaves before Junmyeon even says bye.

Then Chanyeol comes quickly to hug him. “Hey!” He says, holding Junmyeon gently. “Sorry I overslept. I didn’t even check your texts, sorry to have kept you waiting” he whispers in Junmyeon’s ear, which sends tingles to his spine. Chanyeol quickly pecks Junmyeon’s cheek. “Welcome to my apartment!” He spread his hands wide.

“It's cute I love it!” Chanyeol then grabs Junmyeon’s arms and they both sit on the bed, their backs supported by the wall.

“So tell me! You wanted to share something?”

“Yes! I- I confronted my parents today. More like a warning. I said I never want to see them again and they shouldn't interfere with my personal life or your life ever again.”

Chanyeol’s jaw might touch the floor. “You really…oh my god! That must have took a lot for you…I’m so incredibly proud of you, Junmyeon and…that’s sexy!”

Junmyeon laughs. “I cut ties with my parents and that’s sexy for you?”, he teases.

“No no oh my god no…I didn’t mean it like that…I meant that you confronting them sounds sexy!”

“Don’t worry, I know you didn't mean that! But, thank you Chanyeol. For coming into my life. For meeting me at the party. For changing me for the better.” Junmyeon rests his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder.

Chanyeol puts his arm around Junmyeon pulling him closer. “Thank you too…I learned so much from you Junmyeon. But it’s all you…you don’t need to thank me. Despite everything you went through, you never take it out on others. You are strong, courageous and so incredibly lovely and caring and kind. I feel so lucky to be your biggest fan, biggest supporter and a partner. It’s truly an honor.” 

Junmyeon presses a kiss on Chanyeol’s cheek. “I love you CHanyeol, I truly do, from the bottom of my heart. There is no one like you. You complete me and you brought back the light in my life.”

Chanyeol cups Junmyeon’s face and kisses him gently on the lips. “I love you a lot!”

“Wait a minute, I need to show you something.” Chanyeol make a quick jump out of the bed to a cabinet. He takes out an envelope and gives it to Junmyeon. Junmyeon opens it.

It’s the photographs taken by Chanyeol at the Hotel when he first saw Junmyeon, entering the hotel lobby. He looked like a star. So confident, charismatic and handsome. 

“Wow!! Weren’t these from that day? I look so cool!”, Junmyeon is happy.

“That is how you look, through my lens. A hero, a role model and an icon for millions.” Chanyeol says, lacing his fingers with Junmyeon’s. 

“Through your lens…”, Junmyeon smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> Self-Prompt
> 
> Thank you my twitter mutuals for always being a huge support while I broke down finishing this fic. Also huge thanks to Mr.P for helping me with the title.


End file.
